Donald Barthelme, whom I met, is turning over in his grave.
I know that the recommendation for the contest was against having any overly long sentences. In this case, however, the whole point of this story is how long and breathless the first sentence is.
It’s sort of like this: we all know towers aren’t supposed to lean. The whole point of The Leaning Tower of Pisa, on the other hand, is that it is leaning, kind of like this…
My tower is leaning!
Update: I Won First Place! I just found out. Check out the announcement of all the winners here.
2nd Update: DailyLitDeviations (DLD) Award!
“A Thing Now” was recognized with a for May 22, 2012. See the article here.
3rd Update: Daily Deviation (DD)!
“A Thing Now” has received a Daily Deviation feature for February 23, 2013. This is my second DD. Holy cow, I’m stoked! Huge thanks to the wonderful =LadyofGaerdon for suggesting it and ^neurotype for featuring it.
Wow. I actually had to reread this a few times. I suppose knowing the movie references helps (The original Star Wars were the good ones!), but I fount it OK to follow through the ones I didn't know. The only part I was turned around was right before he started explaining the "you don't even have pals" part, where there are three contained sentences. (Or so I counted.) Amazing piece, though!
(And the films were fun to include...some of the movie references are serious, and some are meant to be humorous. I would never expect anyone to do this, but anyone who took the time to watch all of the films referenced in this piece would, I promise, have a lot of fun and get to see some really great—and some really off-the-wall—cinematic masterpieces.)
Of course. I'm in media arts and am an aspiring writer, so it's always nice to see something as well-written as this. For instance, I now know how rambling sentences can be good, in some ways. And I might just watch those movies. I might.
And in case you didn't notice.... just as many DVDs have "Easter Eggs," surprise bits of content squirreled away among their menus, so, too, does this story (like all my lit deviations) have a huge number of hidden Easter Eggs. Hover your cursor here and there above the words and you just might find a few. There are tons....and some of them are quite significant. For example, one might just find the best/most important line of each of the movies referenced. One might.
This is just bafflingly odd and incredibly silly. Truthfully, I've had more than a handful of conversations play out in that fashion. Even stranger is that I was the first sentence a good bit more than the second sentence. Still, shockingly brilliant work. Though, *hikes up my professor smarty pants* you made one error that should be adjusted. The term Baton Warmer shouldn't have the "doubled apostrophe" for the quote within a quote use. The single apostrophe works in place of the "doubled," there. So, that is the only snafu. Great work, my friend.
Thanks, I really appreciate it. And thanks especially for catching my mistake on the double quote... I don't usually make that one; I guess that's the peril of writing such a long sentence: losing track of little details can be pretty easy.
This is fantastic! I love the characterization you managed to create through only dialogue (and just 2 sentences). Excessively long sentences that technically aren't run-ons are a personal favorite of mine, so well done!
Thanks... and thanks especially for recognizing that the sentences aren't run-ons. Some people don't realize that "run on" doesn't mean "long sentence," alas. I take great care in avoiding grammatical mistakes, and I would be mortified if ever did commit a run-on error!
(I actually teach grammar courses at a college...)
I love old films too but I think I probably lean more towards comedies and musicals than you do
I've just reread this properly for the first time in ages. (And I've finally looked up "is this a thing now?" to find out what it exactly means ^^" You kids and your slang...) It went over my head before how funny this is ^^ I promise I will stop describing your work as "intimidating" but I'm glad I've stuck with it and not been put off by how flaming intelligent and talented you are